Update

Having to balance work with shopping / cooking / cleaning is causing me huge anxiety.

As to my work, as well as advancing my own I have just been given the job of redoing my only friends work website.
My anexity is through the roof – nothing to do with work, just all the other things getting in the way.

NOT having any form of support is letting me down.
I know my LA is supposed to provide a care worker.
I also know that being a “troubling” person will make it so you won’t want to continue to house me.

SO – I am not asking for anything, I am not trying to cause any problems or trouble.
I am just trying to get on with my work so I can rebuild my life.

It is very important that you remember the issues that I have:
– cannot open post
– cannot read emails any more
– cannot balance my money

If anyone needs to get hold of me they need, please, to text me to arrange a time to, ideally, meet face to face or have a phone call if thats the only option.

I can only believe that the anexity demand on me that I expressed when discovering that you are still deciding whether you have a duty to house me wasn’t believed.
I understand how I present, PLEASE, do not think that is how I am inside.

Until meeting you lot I was a complete and utter mess.
You guys are starting to help me turn that around.

All of 2021 was spent in bed due to clinical exhaustion.
The first half of 2022 was the same
The second half I managed to start getting over it.
Then, the illegal eviction happened.
Then, I was attacked at the airbnb which destroyed me and resulted in a police reported hate crime
Then, when going to my parents was the only option I never ever wanted to take result in being subjected to essentially torture from BOTH parents, only for them to be happy to make me homeless, knowing the horrors that I faced last time made me understand that basically my parents, sister and for some reason the rest of my whole family doesn’t give a damn what happened to me.

However, I am Simon Edgley.
The past is the past, if thats how people feel about it, so be it, nothing I can do as I know I am a good person.

Please, don’t hate me.
Please, give me time loving here, the first place that has come close to me having a “home” since I was made homeless back in 2015.

Remember, this horror of this part of my life started in 2012, when I made the mistake of suffering from a mental health problem and not being strong enough to just shrug it off.

Since then:
– some one tried to kill me
– I tried to kill me twice
– 2 “friends” turned out to be 2 blokes who saw me as a meal ticket
– I face my first domestic voilent relationship which caused me to leave my home area of 20y for Hampshire
– in Hampshire I faced 7 additional years of horror, not least being forced to live the lie of being a Pedo
– yet nothing is worse than what I thought was true, genuine love turning out to be a narcasstic of a horrific level just using me while she sorted out her new man
– and to make sure that I could do nothing to upset this, she lied to the police about me raping her, even just writing this causes me still to cry.

I have to stop now, I cannot deal with the emotions all of this is causing.
After all, all day every day its just me, on my own, with my cat, who is amazing, however is not the support my Marmite used to be, my 17y old cat whom had to be put to sleep at 2am on the day I was illegal evicted.
Gosh, even I wonder how I am able to go on when I glance at all of the above.

I have to remember, I am Simon Edgley.
There may well be someone out there strong enough to beat me, however, no one I have met has been that strong.
Lots of them have come close.
And I have been told if I wasn’t autistic, and so dont know the Max and Min settings on all of the above, I would have been pushing up the daisies years ago.

Sorry, everything just got all to much for some reason.
I think, possible, that Richard, who used to work for me 15 years ago, is the only person whom has stood by me through all of this.
And that he has placed such a level of trust in me to redo his company which he has run for over a decade means I finally get to thank him.
I must remember: be glad there is one person, then be glad how amazing he is to me.

Sorry, cannot reread to edit /spell correct or anything else.
Have to do an Emergency Master Reboot – put all of this to one side, place trust in you that you all dont hate me enough that all you want is to find a way to decline a duty to house – and start on the job of redoing my unbleievable amazing friends website.

Sorry again, take care, hope to speak or rather see someone at some point.